she looked like the bat from fern gully.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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