You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
