Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize