She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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