Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
