Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Randomize
