I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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