I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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