He asked to "fluff my boner.."
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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