I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
