The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
