Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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