About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
