he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
