dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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