she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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