Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
