her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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