This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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