last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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