omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
