Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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