Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
