I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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