I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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