i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize