Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm determined to sit on that face.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
