So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My breasts were aching with rage.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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