Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
