Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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