I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize