you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
