You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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