Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
