i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
