The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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