when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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