I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Randomize
