She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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