I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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