I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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