I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
