their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you will always have a special place in my vag
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
