Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Dear god my vagina.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
