don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
