I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
