two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
