i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize