My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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