So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
