Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
How's work?
Spinning.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
