Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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