i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
