i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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