That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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