I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
