He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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