Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
