The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
