Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
is wine microwaveable?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
two words: eviction party
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We had sex on a dog bed..
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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