What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
