have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
it was like eating out sand paper
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
They are going to name an STD after you.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
