Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
