she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
