I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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