How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
