Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
