making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
NoShamevember. You game?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
