In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize