If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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