absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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