Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
