Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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