im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
