If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
