honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
