Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
